A young woman got married and came to her father-in-law. The in-laws were already in heaven, so it was the newlyweds’ responsibility to save the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law had a habit of talking. The girl who got married didn’t like it at all. Vahu got bored in a few months due to constant tuk tuk of mother-in-law. The girl came to stay at Em’s pier for a few days. The mother, seeing her daughter’s face, guessed that she had a problem with her in-laws, so she called her daughter in private and asked her to talk to her. The daughter said everything and then said, ‘Mommy, I feel like I can’t stay in that house for long anymore. I am so bored listening to my mother-in-law’s tuk tuk morning and evening. It often happens to me that I will kill my mother-in-law or I will die. ‘
The mother explained to the daughter, ‘Son. We don’t want to die, we want to kill our mother-in-law, but if you do, it will be your turn to spend your life in jail. I will show you a way to kill your mother-in-law and not make any accusations against you. ‘ The girl said, ‘Mommy tell me the solution soon.’ The mother said to her daughter in a soft voice, ‘I will give you a medicine. It is a slow poison. Put a little bit in your mother-in-law’s food every day so that after six months your mother-in-law will die from the effect and no one will even suspect you. ‘ The next day the mother gave her daughter a medicine. My daughter Rajini was red that all my problems would be solved in six months.
When the daughter said goodbye to her father-in-law, the mother said to her, ‘Son, you have to take care of a special thing. During these six months, you should be an ideal bride. Let your mother-in-law listen to everything you do. Let everything be tolerated. Never speak against it and serve it all like a wise bride. So, everyone thinks that you have no hand in the death of your mother-in-law. Even so, you only have to do this play for six months. ‘ From the next day when the father-in-law came, the bride changed completely. In the first conversation, instead of being in front of her mother-in-law, she started serving her mother-in-law a lot. Even if the mother-in-law speaks badly, she listens with love and responds to the mother-in-law with a smile. Dress according to the wishes of the mother-in-law, cook whatever the mother-in-law likes. Vahu’s change began to affect her mother-in-law as well. The mother-in-law started liking Vahu now. Instead of praising Vahu, his mother-in-law started praising Vahu in the neighborhood. In a short time, he stopped ticking. Now, at home, Vahu started getting all the relaxation and freedom. Wahu liked this change of mother-in-law very much. The mother-in-law who used to hate her now loves her. She was devastated by the thought that her mother-in-law would die in a few months.
Pierre went and said to his mother, ‘Mommy, my mother-in-law has changed completely. Loves me so much I want him to live very long now. Show me some medicine that will make this poison non-effective. ‘ Mom smiled and said, ‘Son, I am in you and I am always thinking of your bright future. I never gave you poison. It was just a tonic. I knew that if you changed yourself, your mother-in-law would change automatically. ‘ If we want to change someone, we must first change ourselves. If you want others to live as you wish, you must first learn to live as others wish.
Stephen Covey has a very nice book. ‘The seven habits of highly effective people.’ This book has been translated into many languages. The book is trained by employees of the world’s top 500 companies handling key responsibilities. The author of the book is not among us today but gives a vision to look at life differently from the wonderful ideas he put in the book. In this book the author talks about emotional bank accounts. According to the author, all the people we come in contact with have an emotional account of our name in their hearts. Just as the balance of money in a bank account fluctuates, so does the balance of our speech and behavior fluctuate in this emotional bank account. When I come in contact with my family members, it means that all the members have an account of my name in their heart and the balance in my name’s account fluctuates in the heart of that member according to what I say or do. It sounds very simple but it is worth understanding carefully.
If you want to withdraw any amount from the bank, you have to deposit the amount first. Withdrawal facility is not available till the amount is deposited. When withdrawing any amount from the bank, one has to check first how much amount is deposited as it is not possible to withdraw more than the amount deposited. If you have a deposit of Rs 1 lakh in the bank and you write a check of Rs 50,000 against it, your check will be approved immediately but if you write a check of Rs 2 lakh against a deposit of Rs 1 lakh, the check will come back. We consider a person who writes a check for more than the amount deposited to be a fool, but we ourselves do such a foolish thing when it comes to relationships. Before any family member has any expectations, it should be checked whether there is any balance in the emotional account of my name opened in their heart. If the balance is not enough and you write a check for a relatively large amount, it is natural that the check will be returned.
If we wish that my check be approved (meaning that the family member I meet is expected to be fulfilled) then we should deposit the sufficient balance first and then write the check. If we want the other person to believe what we say, we must first obey the other person. It often happens to us that why don’t the rest of the family believe me? Now, if this happens, understand that the person in front of you has written a check bigger than the balance in the heart of the emotional account of your name. Creating a sufficient balance first and then writing a check will never return the check. We must change ourselves to change others. When we change ourselves, others will also change.